There are some lies so blatant that no one bothers really righting them, and for this I am glad. Consider gummy candies that claim to taste like fruits of their respective colors. Similarly, I made a left turn off Broad Street (like five lanes of seething, roaring traffic!) out of the left turn lane with my right blinker on all along, directly in front of a cop. He didn’t bat an eye. Thanks, chum!
I was also listening to Widespread Panic whilst driving, this afternoon. I grew distraught because I thought that there was an ambulance behind me and there was nowhere to pull over to and there were a ton of cars on the road that would inadvertently be in its way, but it turned out that the sound I had heard was simply that of Widespread Panic rockin’, or something. Obligatory “panic” pun. And that’s all I’ve got for dumb driving stories of the day.
Oh, and I was told the other day by a genuine baby boomer that I had successfully mastered the art of putting on eyeliner like a B-52. Yeah!
John Tyler’s making me take a freaking writing assessment in order to “graduate” (read: earn an associates’ degree). I’M LITERATE, OKAY. This is exceptionally distressing because it’s located in Chester, and I live in fear of Chester because it has a general ambiance of, “Oh no, some thug is going to shoot me” and it’s obscenely far away. And such writing prompts are always so crass!
Golly, I’m going to be in Ontario quite a lot this summer.
You know, sardonic coworkers can really make one’s day.
Since I am not Faulkner, I shall now end this stream-of-consciousness banter.
